Worst Movie Ever

People are usually passionate about things they like, but Kulani and I can be rather passionate about things we hate. Recently, we saw a movie together that honestly could be filed under the "Worst Movie EVVVVEEERRR" category. Before this time, Kulani thought Hope Floats was the worst movie he'd ever seen, and he wasn't quiet about sharing it with people. (Let's just say a few of my friends were personally insulted because they count Hope Floats as one of their favorites, and they felt that disliking it was like disliking their kids.) But this one surpassed it, or rather, underpassed it. It's called The Wedding Date, and if you're like me and watch movies to see for yourself whether it really is that bad, be aware that I warned you. Highlighting just a few of the stupid parts is difficult because the sum and parts of it were just dumb. As we discussed why we both hated it so much, Kulani described that it was like a teacher asked a group of junior high girls to write a movie script that would be entertaining, cute, and sweet, and the group of girls tried to put in every idea possible about break-ups, marriage, and romantic ideas.






I can't believe I'm even taking the time to add a picture of this movie to this blog; the movie definitely doesn't warrant a picture post. I don't know how someone could get the formula for "chick flicks" so wrong, but they did. On the TV show Top Chef, the judging chefs are fond of saying, "If you taste it and it's not good, don't serve it." They shouldn't have served that movie after watching it, or perhaps they didn't bother watching it before serving it. It's two hours of my life I'll never get back, and now I'm wasting another half hour blogging about it. I personally like the acting abilities of Deborah Messing, but this was awful. And the lead guy character, Dermot Mulroney, is just plain bad. The writing for his part was awful, and his acting was worse. His character was essentially a male prostitute. For me, one of the dumbest lines of the movies was when he and Deborah Messing are lying down on the bed (clothes on) talking, and he says to her, "I'm allergic to fabric softener. I majored in comparative literature at Brown. I hate anchovies. And I think I'd miss you even if we never met." I'm thinking, "Who the heck thought it would be clever to throw in that he majored in comparative literature at Brown?" Maybe I could believe SUNY, but Brown? That just seems snobby for snobby sake.

So why didn't we turn off the movie and just go to sleep? It was like a train wreck. We couldn't believe how unbelievably bad the movie was. We kept waiting for it to get better. And unlike some movies that you stop watching because you think your soul is going to hell (see American Psycho, for example, if you can stomach watching the whole thing, which we could not), this one felt more like trying to figure out a jugsaw puzzle that had a bunch of other puzzle pieces from other puzzles mixed in. So Hope Floats, you are not the biggest loser.

Happy Birthday to Lissy the Toad

Lissy turned 4 on March 14th. This has been a year of progress for Lissy, who used to only refer to herself as "Lissy the Toad." At the start of the year, Lissy still had trouble not getting upset when placed in her car seat, when taking a bath, getting dressed, or basically anything that dealt with telling Lissy to do anything she didn't initiate or do herself. I think the term some people use is "hard headed." But Lissy has made great strides. She can now dress herself, brush her own teeth, and use the potty by herself. She has even made some friends at her preschool. We love having Lissy be a part of this family, and we love her funny sense of humor.

We celebrated Lissy's birthday over the course of many days. We went to Disney's Princesses on Ice on the 12th. The tickets were relatively cheap because we were in the top row, but the snow cones (in souvenir Little Mermaid cup), suckers (in the shape of Mickey Mouse ears), and cotton candy (with Mickey Mouse king ears) were not. Fifty dollars later and Kulani getting a case of vertigo, we made two girls pretty happy for all of one night. Poor Kulani's eye had an ulcer earlier that day, but luckily he went to the eye doctor before the show started, so it wasn't hurting "as much."

The next day we drove to St. George for Kulani to attend Continuing Legal Education. We stayed in the Green Valley Resort condos. It was a great condo. The girls' room even had it's own Mickey Mouse TV. I don't encourage TVs in kids' rooms, but this was vacation, so we let it pass. While in St. George, we ate at Ruby River, Outback Steakhouse, the Blue Bunny ice cream shop, Godfather's pizza, and Jon and Delena's house. We had a very good time in sunny St. George, and we came back with a new member of the family. On our way home from St. George, we drove through a serious snow storm. It was not a nice welcome-back gesture. At one point, Kulani couldn't see anything out his window except whiteness because the windshield wipers were not working to full capacity. We made it back, though, so we were able to be at church the next day to teach our nursery class. Aahhh nursery. I seriously love being in the nursery. Kulani, however, is not so keen, but he's surviving.

Later that night we had cupcakes for Lissy's official birthday party. We invited the "cousins": Susan and Kuhia's family who live three miles away. Lissy got a Cinderella doll, a card game, a puzzle, and a painting kit. We asked her later that night how she felt about her birthday. She said, "It was awesome." I think that's the most praise I've ever heard out of Lissy's mouth.

On Monday, we took the girls to their first dentist appointment. They each had cavities. Lilia had her cavities filled with no problem. Lissy cried pretty ferociously when the dentist filled her cavities. They are now taking the task of brushing their teeth very seriously so they don't get any more cavities.

Here, There, and Everywhere

Last night was an interesting night. Kulani was asked by one of the partners at his law firm, who happens to be on the board of the J. Reuben Clark Law School, to smooze a young up-and-comer to try to get him to attend BYU law school. We took him out to Outback Steakhouse. The partner asked Kulani because the student is Polynesian with an engineering background who wants to become a patent attorney. Not too many Polynesians in the patent attorney field. Unlike many electrical engineers I've met, the kid was very nice, sociable, and modest. He didn't brag about his amazing grades or background. He was polite and humble but able to hold a good conversation. To put it succinctly, the guy is going places. We tried our best to sell BYU on the guy. Hopefully we made our case. At the end of the dinner, I couldn't help but put a plug in for one of my nieces--should he ever want another free dinner. He seemed interested.

Lilia came home from school saying she had a bad day at preschool. She wasn't able to go to recess because she was using the bathroom instead. (Did it take all recess to go?) We forgot her backpack, so she wasn't able to put her papers in her backpack to bring home from school. And then her best friend Lily didn't ride the bus home with her so they could talk on the way home. Her mom picked her up from school. So she was lamenting her day and asked if I might be able to make it better for her by giving her some strawberries. If strawberries is all it takes to turn her day around, then I'm more than happy to help. Later that night, when we were at the restaurant with Wonderkind, she retold her sorrows to our neighbors who agreed to swap babysitting for a night. She told the babysitter that if she'd only make her some cinnamon toast, she'd feel better. Girls will eat you out of house and home just as much as boys, I'm finding out. The girls are always hungry.

Lissy and Lilia have begun with the arguments. They argue over everything. For example: "Lissy, your chair is too close to mine." To which Lissy will usually scream, "It's NOT!" at the top of her lungs. It's hard to know which one is wrong and which one is right. Lilia tends to be bossy, and Lissy hates to be bossed. So one day they were arguing over something silly, and to keep Lissy from screaming, I told her that rather than screaming, she could just say "we have a difference of opinion." Now whenever they start arguing, Lissy says, "Lilia, we just have a difference of opinion," which makes Lilia upset. She told Kulani last night, "Lissy thinks we have a difference of opinion, but really we're just arguing." How do they get so smart so fast?

Tonight is the Princesses on Ice concert at the Delta Center. I'm going to dress the girls up in their princess costumes. We're eating whatever they want at the concessions stand. It should be a lot of fun. We'll see. It's in celebration of Lissy's birthday Friday. We'll be celebrating it all weekend long, as we're going to St. George for Kulani to get some CLE classes in, so our hotel (and hopefully gas) will be paid for by his law firm. (Thank you WN law firm!) We told Lissy that the trip is part of her birthday. Kulani reserved us a condo that has four swimming pools. Yee haw!

Make Room for Pictures

Lilia's First Ballet Class (after quitting last year, but this year she swears she's going to stick with it).

The girls wearing their favorite stocking hats Aunt Angela made them (with Nohea trying to pull them off).

Nohea with the "big cousins" Mackenzine, Grace, and Sarah at Uncle Wayne's wedding reception in Rexburg in December. The back of Minnie's head is also pictured.

The whole descendants of Karen and Norvel Christenson at Wayne's wedding reception.

Daytime TV Update

For those of you unfortunate enough to have a job that pulls you away from daytime television, I'd like to offer you some updates. Firstly, I don't know where they dredge up these people, and it makes you wonder if the world is full of idiots and ignoramouses. When I first started watching Dr. Phil, guests who came on the show seemed like they had legitimate problems--problems I could relate to. Now, likely for sake of ratings, the guests on the show are complete idiots! Today, for example, a woman dated a guy for more than 30 months and became engaged to him without ever meeting him. She even loaned him $5,000. Surprise, surprise, the guy wasn't who he said he was. It reminds me of a guy I worked with who was a 50-year-old bachelor who started writing a Russian model over the Internet. Within three e-mails she was proclaiming her undying love for him, even though her English comprehension wasn't great. She was ready to come over to the U.S. and marry him, just so long as he sent her $1,000 to help her get over here. Luckily, the co-worker didn't fall for it. But I'm guessing there are plenty of sorry saps out there that have fallen for it--hook, line, and sinker. How do people let themselves get to that state? I guess at least I get to live vicariously through them on the Dr. Phil show--I don't think I'll be e-mailing any "Russian cosmonauts" any time soon.

Double-date Night

Lissy is the middle child. I don't mean that in facts; I mean that in attitude. "Lilia, Lilia, Lilia!" I can already hear her saying that when she's in junior high. Maybe we should just own up to our horrible parenting and rename her Jan. I didn't think I would ever make a middle child of mine feel outshined. Afterall, I am the dead center middle of a family of 10--I know about being a middle child. My three oldest siblings got a little cash on a monthly basis when they left for college. My last three siblings got a lot of their tuition paid for by our parents. Us in the middle? Nada. (Mom and Dad: I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. I know things were different and we did get pell grants and you helped when you could, so I'm really not complaining, but for story affect, it sounds better to be grumpy.)

But Lissy seems to be in constant competition with her older sister. Whenever Lilia is gone to preschool, Lissy is a delight. She's helpful, plays well by herself, and loving. When Lilia gets home from school--instant bad attitude. I hope she realizes as she gets older her awesome laugh and personality. She doesn't have to be like Lilia; she's Lissy. And we love her for it. So this weekend, we thought we might do something special with the girls, but on a one-on-one basis. I took Lissy to the movies with me, while Kulani took Nohea and Lilia to the store with him. We had a tear-dropping good time. Honestly, I don't know how long it has been since me and Lissy did something with just the two of us. I tried to make it feel like a real date. I put her in the back seat of the car and asked her if she was warm enough. I brought her a "nice, cozy blanket" (Lissy' favorite term) to keep her comfortable. We drove to the movie, and she chatted the whole way about everything in her life. We made it to The Waterhorse a little late, but we stopped to get a kid's size box of popcorn with drink and a candy. We sprinkled the popcorn with her favorite ranch sprinkles (this one movie theater in Orem offers popcorn flavorings from Harmon's grocery store). And we took our seats in the theater. Lissy loves movies, and she was enthralled with this one. Part way during the movie she sat on my lap, never to leave until the end. She said to me, "Can we do this every night?" After the movie, we ran to our car, and I got her snuggled into the back seat. I got a text message from Kulani saying to call him. He asked if we'd like to meet him and the other girls at Outback for dessert, so we joined their date already in progress. They'd had a great time at Wal-Mart, Lilia's favorite place, and he'd of course, bought them each a little something. As soon as we met up with them, Lissy's attitude soured. She didn't appreciate anything Lilia was saying to her. I almost had to excuse ourselves because of my date's bad behavior. After dessert, as we were driving home, Lissy fell asleep. I hope her bad attitude was due to her tiredness. Whatever the case may be, the night was truly awesome, and I'd like to thank Lissy for making it so special for me.

Valentine's Day Mishaps

For those of you who had a romantic dinner with your loved one yesterday, complete with roses and chocolate and no tag-along children, this blog is not for you. This entry is for the rest of us schmoes who may have crumpled under the stress that can be Valentine's Day.

The day started off harried and it got harrier. I awoke at 6 a.m. to run to the store to get the girls some treats to give their classmates for Valentine's Day. As is often the case when shopping at Wal-Mart, I had to buy more stuff than I needed because I started thinking of other poor souls who might not get a Valentine. More than $50 later, I left Wal-Mart with a cart full of "schtuff."

Just as I arrived home, the neighbor lady called me. The neighbor lady has a phobia of driving in the snow, so she calls me up for rides to her work in the River Bottoms anytime it snows. Despite the huge dumps we've been getting this year, I've only had to drive her three times. Yesterday was one of those times. I quickly drove her to work and tried to make it home before Lissy's preschool began. Luckily, the preschool teacher canceled school because of sickness. Woot, woo! I could make my loved ones a great Valentine's Day breakfast. I set out a little Valentine's gift at the table for each girl, and I brought out Kulani's Valentine's gift (a meat grinder--nothing says "you're mine" like a meat grinder). Kulani wasn't interested in any waffles, and the girls didn't care for any either, as they were busy with their new Valentine's gifts, so I scratched the breakfast idea. Kulani left for work, and we planned to later meet up for the Elder's Quorum's Valentine's Dinner and Dance that was to be catered by Carabbas and free babysitting from the young women. All for the incredibly good price of $25 per couple. Schweet!

I had to finish up a little project at work, and then two neighbor kids needed to be watched for a few hours. We got Lilia's Valentine's ready for her class and dropped her off at the bus stop. I posted a Valentine's Day post on this blog. We drove to Orem to pick up the neighbor across the street. The babysitting parents came to pick up their kids. We dropped off Valentines to my visiting teachees and some neighbor girls. We picked up Lilia from the bus stop. I decided to squeeze in a run after reading the scale that said I'd gained three pounds over the past two weeks. The 40 minute run took over an hour thanks to Nohea constantly trying to come close to the treadmill. The three girls took a bath while I took a shower. My shower took about 45 minutes because I needed to shave my legs. (Damn those long legs of mine--hee, hee!) By this time, we only had 1/2 hour to get the girls fed and all of us ready to go. Kulani arrived 10 minutes before the dinner, and the pizza was still in the oven, Nohea was in her diaper, and narry a shoe was to be on foot. Nohea had a slight break down, so I sat in the chair to nurse her. We found shoes and socks, loaded up the girls, and made our way to the church; a good half hour after the event had started. We walked into the church to find the babysitting room. Turns out, no babysitting room. Where are the babysitters? Kulani found the Elder's Quorum president, who told Kulani they'd canceled the babysitting but forgot to tell him because he's in nursery. We felt like we'd showed up to the prom in our underwear. We just felt...dumb. The Elder's Quorum president tried to convince us to take our kids to his house and have his babysitter watch our kids as well as his 2-year-old daughter, but it just didn't seem right. Here it was a solid 45 minutes after the event had started, and we were going to require the use of his babysitter unannounced. We tried our best to politely turn down his urgings. He felt really bad, but it just didn't seem right to impose on him like that. So we left with the girls and drove to Orem to McGrath's for dinner. We managed to find a seat within a half hour. The service was slow, and Nohea insisted on being walked around the restaurant. We didn't bother waiting to order dessert. Melissa fell asleep on their floor. Lilia was sad because she wanted to be watched by the young women, and we'd built up the night for her. To soothe our sorrows, we went to Wal-Mart and bought a Playstation 3 with Blueray player. Yes, I suppose we are guilty of guilt shopping.

In short, sometimes we make a huge deal about Valentine's Day. I don't want to be a hater, because I welcome a day to show those we love that we love them. But perhaps it's too much to try to live up to the perfect ideal of a perfect Valentine's Day. I see it in men's faces as they stand in front of the displays of flowers wondering which kind to get their significant other. You know, I'm not sure I can recall one Valentine's Day my parents went all out to show each other their love for one another. They showed it through working hard for the good of the family, through being kind and loving on a daily basis, and by doing acts of service. For my parents' generation, Valentine's Day was for school kids to pass out little card Valentines to each other. Well, Kulani and I may have muffed up this Valentine's Day, but at least we now have a Blueray player--ah yeah! And Lilia summed up the night thusly: Sometimes you want to do something and things go wrong, but it's okay because we can just do other things as a family.