Wednesday, September 10, 2008

KF 1-25

One of our purposes for the blog is to document things for posterity that we otherwise might not. The Fat Cyclist's wife is battling cancer and one of the things they did was to document memories of themselves so their kids would have them for later. Anyway, enough of the excuses. I'm firing off my 100 in ascending order.

1. I'm a binary person. Good thing I started with 1.

2. Because of (1.), I also tend to be something of a hater (and a lover). E.g, I love bikes. I hate musicals. And playing golf. And over-cooked steak. And when the Cougars lose.

3. I'm Hawaiian, not from Hawai'i. You'd be surprised how difficult it is for people to understand that.

4. I never thought about being an attorney "when I grew up." Good thing I'm only kind-of an attorney.

5. When I was little, I wanted to be a soldier.

6. In high school, I wanted to be an architect.

7. In college, I wanted to design bikes.

8. I actually enjoy my job. What can I say, I can be a masochist. Finishing up a tough project with a short timeline feels similar to finishing an endurance event - I feel satisfied.

9. When my wife asks me if I'm going to be home from the office on a given night, it's not a sarcastic question.

10. I don't mind wearing a shirt and tie or even a suit and tie.

11. I never really knew any of my grandparents. My maternal grandpa abandoned his family while my mom was in the womb, my maternal grandma died before I was born and my paternal grandparents died while I was too young to remember them well. I only have three memories of my Grandma Fisher - one involves her spanking me, one involves her scolding Kuhia, and one of them involves her throwing a brick at a dog.

12. I don't run from dogs. Since my teenage years, I've been attacked at least nine or ten times. I've been attacked by cougar hounds, chows, german shephards, collies, chihuahuas, and numerous large and furry muts. The only time I've been bitten in an attack was the one time I ran as a missionary to avoid kicking the dog in front of its owner.

13. We have a dog named Jesse that wouldn't attack anyone.

14. We have a cat named Blossom that Cindy picked up despite her being a committed dog person.

15. For as long as I can remember, I've been obsessed with numbers and mathematical operators. If I see a string of numbers, I'll immediately look at it first to see if the entire number is divisible by 9 and if it's not, whether it's divisible by 3. If neither of those are true, I'll work on figuring whether it's a prime number. I do this a lot while I'm doing triathlons - I work the fractions and percentages of the bike and the run as I go. That's part of the reason why I like the Garmin 305 so much - it keeps me occupied.

16. I like to watch TV and I'm not ashamed of it.

17. I don't like to read, and I'm not ashamed of that either. You're not going to hear me saying to myself, "I need to read more." Pass. I choose to be functionally literate.

18. No. 17 doesn't apply to War History Books or Bon Appetit.

19. I've seen Depeche Mode in concert five times.

20. The Cake concert I saw during the 2002 Olympics with Jeremy is the best concert I've ever attended.

21. I can't snowboard for crap. Or ice skate. Or roller skate. Or water ski.

22. I waited tables for one summer at the 'Cedar Pony.' Worst. Job. Ever. Scrubbing toilets for $2.35/hour was a nightmare.

23. I have a phobia of heights. When I was young, standing in a second story building with glass walls was enough to give me vertigo and send me in to panic. I'm a little better now, but not much.

24. I survived falling into Tillamook Bay in the middle of winter, in the middle of the night with waders on. On an annual fishing trip with Jeremy, Jeff, Casey, and Dave, we were crabbing one night after a day of steelhead fishing. We were using ring-traps from a pier that sticks out into the bay. I was pulling up a full crab trap when my feet slipped and I tumbled over the railing. I managed to catch myself briefly with one arm, but I couldn't grip the slick wood and fell in. As I began to slip, I thought about how falling into the ocean was exactly the type of fear I had always told myself was so irrational while trying to calm my fear of heights. And there I was, falling over a rail into the ocean. At times I can have a bit of a potty mouth, but all I said as I began the plunge was a resigned, "Oh Crap." I fell in and immediately my waders filled with water. I righted myself, found the surface, and tried to kick my way to the surface but couldn't because the water in the waders was so heavy. Taking off the waders wasn't an option as I would have had to take off two coats as well. Instead, I fought my way to the surface with my arms and grabbed the dangling rope of the crab trap that was still tied to the pier. The next day, every muscle in my entire upper body ached.

25. I'm excitable about trivial matters, but am actually calmer when faced with potential death. I can work myself into a lather over silly things - like if Cindy picks up 31-40 count shrimp instead of 26-30 or if PAC-10 refs are doing their normal job when a PAC-10 team is playing a non PAC-10 team. I was remarkably calm standing on the bottom of Tillamook Bay (24.) The same thing has happened when facing potentially disastrous driving situations. Surprisingly, Lissy is the same way. She was remarkably calm during and after the affair and much calmer than she is when the cat scratches her or Nono steps on her foot.


Morkthefied said...

If you weren't already my husband, I'd leave my husband and run away with you! Wait. Joke not so funny. Too tender right now...I ran away with you last night! And the night before that! Ran away to the living room, that is. Growl! I gotta stop myself. Everything is sounding like a double entendre. Don't want to make the readers sick.

Fish said...

You're right, you'd hate to offend either of the readers.

Mr. Flynn said...

Love the story from 24. Been to that bay crabbing myself. If it wasn't that you almost drowned, it would be even funnier.

"Sisty" said...

You may be sorry I found this.

Danelle said...

Kulani Fisher! I just found your blog, unintentionally, and decided to see what you were up to. For the life of me I can not remember where "the cedar pony" was, but I think it was indeed in B-town. Help me out here...was it in the Elk Ridge building? Fun reading...I wish you could be my math tutor.