Saturday, September 20, 2008

The last 20

I wanted to save the best for last, but I'm getting bored with myself, so I'm squeezing out these last 20 as if milking a cactus. Painful for me; painful for you.

19. I am one sentence away from being Jessica Simpson. No, not in looks but in brain activity. Anyone who knows me knows I let the malopropisms fly fancy free. And I'm not necessarily doing it for comic effect. I wish I could play it off as a blonde airhead, but instead I've been known to have a hissy breakdown trying to cover up my stupidity. I hate it when people think I'm stupid--so rather than just owning up to my mistake, which would be the smartest way to save face, I'll do something like this: "I'm pretty sure the way I used that word is right. I'm right and you're wrong, so there" followed by sticking out my tongue. Classy.

18. I love the way Kulani smells.

17. If there was an all-you-can-eat cold cereal diet (including sugary kinds such as Cap'n Crunch and Cocoa Puffs), I would be the first to join the chat room and report my successes.

16. I'm cheap about most things and generous about a few things. I buy cheap diapers and clothes for the kids. I can go without buying myself clothes for years or even decades. But when it comes to babysitters, I pay top dollar (within reason). I need their return business.

15. After having Lilia, I wanted 10 kids, like my mom. After Melissa, two seemed fine. After Nohea, no more. Now, I'm feeling like seven. Kulani said no.

14. I spend too much time blogging.

13. I'm not a germaphobe.

12. I can turn off my nose to bad smells.

11. My oldest brother Doug helped me get on the varsity volleyball team when I was a junior in high school. We played volleyball at the church every Monday night during the summer with the net set at the men's height. When it came time for volleyball tryouts, the woman's height seemed short. Doug was probably my biggest influence from 5th grade to 11th grade. He lived with us for two years after he came home from his mission in East Germany, and he was just the funniest, coolest guy ever.

10. My favorite drink to request during a plane ride is spicy tomato.

I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel now.

9. I stopped snow skiing because that whole scene makes me uncomfortable. It's an expensive sport for the "richies." I hate Park City. (But I do kind-of like Sun Valley.)

8. The best way to experience Disneyland is with my mom, who grew up in Southern California. It wasn't so fun when I was younger and wanted to go on all the "fun" rides. But when I was older, and we were exploring the Tiki Hut and Frontier Land, it was great to see it through her eyes. Also, Disneyland is most fun with children under the age of 7 but older than 3.

7. I'm not crafty.

6. I've never played golf and don't care to.

5. My mom gives the best advice and is the best listener. That's not really about me directly, but it relates to my well being.

4. Okay, yes, I've been known to watch Dr. Phil and Oprah. I've also imbibed in a little celebrity gossip.

3. When I was younger, and my grandma didn't have Alzheimer's, she would send me clippings from her favorite magazine: The National Enquirer. I kept one clipping she sent me for years about what celebrities would look like if they were bald. You'd better believe I'll be doing the same for my grandkids.

2. My favorite song is the Beautiful South's Prettiest Eyes. It's about a love between a couple that has spanned nearly 60 years. I only listen to it once or twice a year so as not to wear it out in my head.

1. I am a caul baby. According to Wikipedia, in medieval times the appearance of a caul on a newborn baby was seen as a sign of good luck. It was considered an omen that the child was destined for greatness. Caulbearer babies are also said to be able to see the future or have dreams that come to pass.

With that being said, my future-reading talents tell me that you will create your own 100 things list, and you will share them with the world.



Campbells said...

I remember at girls camp when we would get our letters from our parents your mom and dad made your letter out of magazine clippings with their added comments. I thought that was so clever.

Garn said...

How have I missed out on these gems for so long?