Not to mention, my parenting is lackluster at best. I've said it before, but now I really fear I'm turning into Lisa Simpson in the dream sequence when she marries Nelson Muntz, the school bully. She's lying on the couch while her five children turn the house into a den of filth. She says to the kids, "Quit it. Quit it. Mom's watching her stories."
Don't believe me?
Take a look at this picture:
She'd dropped that rice crispy treat many times in the grass. What did I do?
"Meh, she'll live." I let her keep eating that extra tasty, grassy treat.
But far be it for me to take accountability of my inadequacies. Let's put blame where it belongs: on my child.
It's true that mothers don't remember what occurred with the other children. But even still, I swear my other children weren't into things as much as this one.
Her goal is to climb to the highest point in any room in the house. The table, the counter, the top of the television console. I'm raising Edmund Hillary. She's going to conquer the seven peaks of the Fisher house. Maybe I'll put her to work this winter and have her hang the Christmas lights.
But she's only 1. She turned 1 in June.
We had a huge luau to celebrate. Since she is our last child, we brought out all the stops for her 1-year luau.
Even killed a pig and buried it in an emu.
We've tried this before with always the same result: the pig comes out raw.
But this year? This year was success! Sweet, sweet, porky success!
We had a lot of help from Keoni, a friend of ours who moved here from Molokai, Hawaii. He knows everything there is to cooking pig in an emu. He even once threw a luau for the cast and crew of Pirates of the Carribbean when they were filming in Hawaii.
We also had help from friends and family who hauled the pig up to the upper level of our backyard, and helped give him a proper burial. And helped pull him out of his toasty grave.
Kulani made big improvements to the emu. He added fire bricks to the pit. Here are pictures of the event:
|Keoni, Kulani, and Kuhia clean the pig.|
|Friends and family haul the pig up the hill.|
|The emu with hot lava rocks and fire bricks lining it. Received some funny comments from the neighbors above us.|