Rock Star Mommy

I have a dream job of sorts. I get to work from home for as many hours I want editing documents and writing help information for a truly amazing company in Provo. To say I love my job is putting it mildly. I worked for them for six years before having my first girl, Lilia. I was promoted to manager of the technical writing division, and then when I started working part time, I was shifted back to regular technical writer, which I'm fine with. Somedays I'm afraid my great little world will be yanked from under me, but for now, it's working out great.

And every year this company has a Christmas party that includes great food and somewhat good entertainment. This year they had a cover band, who allowed audience members to sing lead on songs they chose. I was feeling good last night, so I put my name on the list. And then I just sat back and waited, thinking the whole time, "What did you just do?"

The time arrived for me to sing. The main band leader was great. He gave me some tips, then I was up. I chose to sing a song from my high school days, 4-Non Blondes's "What's Up." I heard the intro, and then I belted it out. "25 years and my life is still, tryin' to get up that great big hill of hope, for a destination." They had the lyrics there for people to read. I couldn't believe it was coming out of my voice. I was trying to hone Janis Joplin's spirit to really belt out the chorus ("And I said hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah, yeah..") And boy did I belt it. I don't know how loud I was singing, but somewhere during the song it became less about singing and more about letting out an inner demon. I tore the song up. The song was mine. I was really feeling it. I felt like a rockstar. Kulani was pretty impressed. I think he was afraid for me, and then he was stunned. Neither he nor I knew I had it in me. Others of my workmates liked it too, but it was the song--I love that song.


It was the funnest three or four minutes I've had in a long time, and it went straight to my head. I woke up early this morning with the song still in my head, the memory keeping me up, awake, and alive. Now I'm thinking of ways I can scheme in some guitar lessons and become a closeted rock band wannabe. I, like most people, have always wanted to be in a band. I got my chance last night, and now it may become an addiction. I don't think my messy house and harried kids need another activity their mother does, so for now, I'll have to hide the pick and guitar in the back of my mind. But if you've ever wanted to be a rock start, the band plays every Thursday night at Port O' Call, and for a few minutes, you too can be a lead singer of your own rock band.