We hold these things self-evident ...

1. There are two types of people: those who pee in wetsuits and those who lie about it.
2. There are two types of people: those who love ABBA and those who secretly love ABBA.
3. No matter how well you clean your house one day, it still takes close to two hours to clean it again the next day.
4. People who claim to prefer the BBC version of The Office over the American version are pretentious and have never seen more than the first two episodes of the American version.
5. The book is always better than the movie. We get it. No need to state it ever again--ever.
6. It's couldn't care less; not could.
7. Unless you're curing cancer, your hobby isn't on a higher moral ground than watching TV--including that novel you're reading.