Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Shopping Esteem

Today I found myself stuck in some alternate universe while shopping at Macey's grocery store in Pleasant Grove. Most moms shopping at 2 in the afternoon abide by a certain dress code: sweats, flip-flops or crocs, and a T-shirt with gooey hand smears from young children. But today, someone forgot to tell a few mommies about the dress code.

It was a store full of this:

I guess a Juicy Couture tracksuit is technically passing the dress code, but the fashionista women would have made us regular mommies feel better had they had messy hair, no makeup, or worn a size 14 or larger. To rub it in my face, one of the lady's velour sweatsuit had the word "JUICY" running across her size 0 butt.
It would have been one thing had there only been one lady looking like this, but then I saw another woman, who was more a size 4 but with huge, uh, you know (wink, wink), you know. And then I saw a woman whose face may have put her in her 60s, but her body was screaming 20 year old. Who are these women, and why are they shopping at my grocery store?
I'd like to blame their good grooming on not having children, but this was clearly not the case because they were hauling kids around in their carts.
To add insult to injury, as I was driving home, I passed some teenagers walking home from school. One of the boy teenagers, wearing the clothes only appreciated by the youth of today with the skinny pants revealing a non-existant behind, made a gesture with the fist and arm pumping up and down. You know, the signal kids like to make when passing a diesel truck. So I obliged the teens and honked my horn, and then waved. The group of them exploded into laughter.
And so I enter the mommy years. Smells a lot like teen spirit.


Aundrea said...

I find myself hating those mommies! When will a size 14 be hot again?? I want the 60s back!

Autumn said...

You crack me up. I'm not a mommy, but I so feel your pain! :)

go mom go said...

Let's make ourselves feel better here...Our kids are better off because their mommy would rather spend time with them instead of spending hours primping in front of the mirror. Okay, let's really make ourselves feel good...next time, be sure to pick a few items off the shelves as you first walk in to the store. Carry them around until you pass one of "that type". Then, oh so gently, toss stuff into their cart. You know, items like laxatives, big "A" granny pants, or condoms. Condoms are great because they are small enough the mom doesn't notice, but when the kids help take things out of the cart at the register...I can hear it now, "Mommy, what's this?"
Try it it's therapeutic.

Kim said...

Girl, you would have felt better at Wal-mart. Not only are the mom's frumpier, but you would have run into me and felt REALLY good about yourself!

kstamler said...

Thanks so much for your great posts. I enjoy reading them so much! Thanks also for being patient with Owen. "Personality" is a great way to describe what Owen has!
(At least no one mistakes you for a boy when you are out shopping. That's the story of half my life. "Who's the cute little boy?" I guess that is what you get when you have short hair.)

Kristi said...

We ARE living the same life!! I hate those moms and sometimes I think that someday I'll be one when I have more time, then I come to reality and realize that I'll always find something better to do with two hours then primping. And here's the best part- when people see me without make-up I look normal, when people see those moms without make-up they look hammered, so don't ever fall into the trap of trying to always look good, it just sets the standard too high of what people expect you to look like.

Elle said...

ok, so I found your blog from another friend we have in common & had to comment....I chuckle when I see them (the barbie moms), apparently someone has too much time for themselves! My husband was just transferred to cali.(from UT) for his job & the gal that is the office person (from UT),when I met her, I thought she was a sweet little gal with down syndrome, because she apparently had had, her recent Botox injection & with the fake "you know what's", I was thoroughly confused, & laughed all the way home because she's also the bosses daughter!
I however, also love to see the dad's with their little "beer guts", it's a sign they probably have a family that they think more about, than being at the gym!
& then, size 14+ will always be hot, if your happy!
sorry to be nosy! But I hear ya sister!

Lady G said...

Smells like teen spirit. AWESOME!

You know what? Those bitches with the size 0 ass and their lame juicy couture don't have anything on *any* of us (and, yes, it's true that my ass is a size 0 as well). But you can better believe that everything they bought at the Macey's was something they could just add water to. They couldn't cook their way out of a paper bag--how do you think they got that butt?

Also, they are boring. :)

And BTW, you entered mommy-world a LONG time ago, my friend!